Balloons.

I stopped talking to him. I don't think it's possible to stay friends with him anymore. The situation we have crept upon is utterly too threatening for this mending heart. I'm sure everyone saw this coming. There is no going around this feeling him and I both share. There is the choice of accepting it, or there is the choice of turning around and starting fresh. Explore new territory, if so to speak.

This time around the second option sounds a lot more appealing.

Thank God.

Surprised? Me too.

After a while, no matter how happy someone can make you feel... You realize that this bit of happiness is not but a balloon out of reach. It is stuck to the ceiling where you will forever involuntarily acknowledge it's being. There are many balloons available to you but they do nothing but bore and keep you busy. The only reason you want the other one so badly is because you know you can't have it. It is not until the balloon gently floats down beside you that you realize what you have been admiring from afar. But by then it's appeal has seeped through the latex and you realize that it was nothing more than another balloon. Or maybe not?

Who knows... I sure as hell don't.

Learning things the hard way

Do you ever find yourself lost in the past with no sight of present time?

In fact, so uncomfortable with life's routine you become infatuated with the unpredictable?

Everything I thought I wanted is temporarily second priority.

I'm unhappy because i cant choose between what I know will work and what won't.

All answers have become questions.

What do you do when everyone tells you the same advice over and over again?

Turn to no one but yourself?

They aren't telling me what I want to hear and their opinion won't change no matter how many times I defend the argument. At least their opinion doesn't change as rapidly as mine does.

Do I trust my gut? Or "common sense" brought on by friends and family?

My mind has drowned in doubt and my insides filled with concern.

In my opinion, it's nice to hear the thoughts of others on certain matters but as someone said earlier to me this week... Sometimes people need to learn things the hard way.

And thats what I think i'm going to do.

Wish me luck.

What now?

What do you do when the first person you dated so happens to be the only person you ever want to spend the rest of your life with?

If it's meant to be, It'll happen. That's what everyone says. But how much trust can you hold to this saying without really knowing? Is it worth the gamble?

It has been admitted to me, that this was the position of another at one point in time. Now, how would you react to such a confession?

Was it even appropriate?

With no promise for future. No action for change. Is he really a different person from a year ago? How different can people become in such a short period of time?

I sort of like the drama of current situations. Can't lie. Im in a relationship and here I am talking to my Ex. I know karma is gonna kick me in the face sooner or later but as I hear the steps draw nearer I do nothing but smile because i'm slightly crazy.

haha What time is it? Oh right, 2:21AM.

What is it like to be Amanda Soriano?

It's like reading a book over and over again. This story is about young love. Two people finding their theoretical soul mates years too early. It takes place a year ago, a couple months ago, weeks, days and even hours ago. So repetitious yet no drop of fascination is lost in it's pages. Every time I read this story I always find myself falling and falling until I reach and hit the ground that is reality.

I have dated enough people after him and cannot seem to start a new tale.

Is it unfair to bring in new characters and stir them right into my messy plot? Whatever, like i really care. Haha.

What the hell is love but a game.